Decree on Bridge Naming Rights
No bridge within the Kingdom may bear a name lacking in charm, peculiarity, or poetic invention. Structures shall henceforth be named after local lore, peculiar vegetables, or famously moody cats.
Petitions for naming must be submitted in triplicate to the Ministry of the Populi and include a small poem.
Violators shall have their bridges renamed by royal whim.
Year 147 of the Eyehasseen Reckoning
BY LETTERS PATENT UNDER THE GREAT SEAL OF THE REALM, let it be known throughout the Kingdom that the Order of the Golden Apron is hereby established as a recognized Civic Order of Honor.
Said Order shall be conferred upon those whose acts of hospitality, nourishment, or table-centered diplomacy have significantly advanced the wellbeing, morale, or cultural cohesion of the Realm.
Recipients shall bear the right to don the Golden Apron at formal feasts, and to be addressed as “Bearer of the Apron” in all honorable assemblies.
Given at the hand of His Royal Highness King Edmund, under seal and witness.
Year 147 of the Eyehasseen Reckoning
LET THIS SERVE AS A ROYAL COMMISSION, constituting a panel of three respected citizens to investigate the unsolved disappearance of the Sixth Spoon from the Royal Silver Chest.
This commission shall have access to kitchens, pantries, and ancestral almanacs and may question any party (including ghosts) believed to have knowledge of the event.
The report is to be delivered under oath before the Feast of Restored Utensils.
The truth shall be known—or at least attempted.
Let it be known that the maximum number of bells affixed to any one hat, bonnet, or ceremonial headdress worn in public shall be seven (7). Exceptions may be granted for those performing in official pageants, reciting fortunes in verse, or appearing in operatic farce.
All milliners and merrymakers shall take heed. Noncompliance may result in temporary silencing or hat confiscation.
Let this be observed or face disapproving glances and official tutting.
Mandate for the Preservation of Historical Sites
All ruins, monuments, ancient trees, and known sacred sites within the Realm are to be protected from desecration, demolition, or unsanctioned excavation. Any party violating this decree shall answer to the Ministry of the Interior.
Let none disturb the Kingdom’s memory without license and purpose.
On the Organization of the Autumn Muster
All able-bodied citizens between the ages of sixteen and sixty shall be called to assemble for the Autumn Muster on the second Saturday of Leafturn. Attendance shall include parade, training, and provision inspection.
Failure to appear without cause shall be noted by the Watch Marshal and reported to the Crown.
On the Taxation of Luxury Imports
All imported luxury goods—defined as spices, silks, perfumes, rare wines, and exotic instruments—shall be subject to a tariff of 8% to fund the upkeep of civic beautification and musical instruction.
Merchants shall make prompt declarations, or their goods shall be seized for royal review.
BY ORDER OF HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS KING EDMUND:
In order to assure that the users of this website are in accord with the monarchy, and to enhance the use and enjoyment of this virtual presence on the digital platform, we have found it necessary to publish both a Privacy Policy and a Terms and Conditions Of Use policy. It is expected that all users shall abide by the terms of those documents, and let those who do not read them be anathema.
Issued this 25th day of October, 2022 by order of
His Royal Majesty, King Edmund, hereby declares the public re-founding of his realm, the Kingdom of Eyehasseen. May the realm enjoy peace and prosperity forevermore.
Initially founded on October 11, 2008, Eyehasseen remained a private and hidden realm for the last 14 years. On 13 October 2022 his Royal Majesty proclaimed a new Royal Charter of Eyehasseen, Carta Regni Eyehasseen. With this royal proclamation King Edmund has decreed that Eyehasseen forthwith be, and hereby is made, public, and shall be presented to the world for recognition and acclamation.
Citizenship is also open for registration. Any member of any macronation may apply for citizenship, and while we expect our citizens to be well-behaved, it should be noted that most past criminal activity shall not be an immediate bar to citizenship.
By Order of his Royal Highness, the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is willing to enter into diplomatic relations with all similar nation states. The Kingdom is also willing to enter into certain strategic alliances that are to its liking, but as a thoroughly Catholic nation, we must respectfully decline to enter into alliances with any nations that espouse any form of Communism or Socialism, Freemasonry, Satanism, or any other such immoral and immodest means of administering a government. If you want to learn more about exactly how the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is formulated and administered, please read our Charter.
If you have questions or wish to interview a member of the court, please use our contact form.
On the Proper Conduct of Ceremonial Observances
All national, civic, and regional ceremonies held in the name of the Crown must be conducted in accordance with the established rites and protocols of the Office of Public Festivities & Observances.
Deviation from approved forms shall be corrected by the Ceremony Oversight Guild without delay.
