“All That is Hidden, Handled With Care.”
In the shadowed architecture of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen, there stands one ministry whose halls are unmarked, whose ledgers are blank, and whose tea is always suspiciously quiet: the Ministry of Clandestiny.
Formed under Royal Edict IV.13.a (Subsection: “Things Best Not Discussed”), the Ministry governs covert operations, secret intelligence, psychological influence, technological subversion, and the Kingdom’s general knowledge of what everyone else is doing.
While other ministries wear robes and sashes, the Ministry of Clandestiny wears gloves and an expression that implies it knows something it probably shouldn’t.
🕵️ Departments of the Ministry
🏠 Bureau of Domestic Spying (BDS)
Observes internal threats with all due discretion and shrubbery. Maintains listening posts in lampposts, wallpaper, and occasionally houseplants.
“Because someone has to keep an eye on the neighbours.”
🌍 International Spying Agency (ISA)
Handles all foreign intelligence, infiltration, and diplomatic subterfuge. Known to attend events it wasn’t invited to and leave with more than it came for.
“Across borders, behind curtains, always polite.”
🛡️ Counterintelligence Unit
The Kingdom’s last line of defence against foreign spies and espionage. If you haven’t been watched, you will be. If you think you haven’t been watched… you already were.
“We know who you’re not.”
🧲 Technological Espionage Department
Secures and acquires foreign technology while protecting the Kingdom’s own mechanical marvels. Operatives often travel with unusually large suitcases and an appreciation for gears.
“Securing our future. Borrowing theirs.”
🧠 Psychological Operations Division (PsyOps)
Shapes perception through masterful messaging and curated “coincidences.” Deploys leaflets, lullabies, and the suspiciously effective town crier named Bert.
“Influence without obvious influence.”
🔐 Cryptanalysis Bureau
Decrypts, encodes, and deciphers all manner of secret communications. Operates somewhere beneath the Ministry, possibly below sea level.
“Unbreakable to them. Legible to us.”
“The best secrets are the ones we make you think you found yourself.”
— Royal Directive 47/7, signed invisibly