Foreign Relations |Ministry of the Exterior | Kingdom of Eyehasseen
“Honor in bearing. Skill in speech. Steady hand on the scroll.”
📘 Overview
The Diplomatic Corps is the elite professional body of trained envoys, negotiators, scribes, ceremonial delegates, and protocol officers charged with executing the Kingdom of Eyehasseen’s diplomatic vision abroad and at home. These are the men and women who carry the flag, speak the words, and drink the tea—so that treaties may be signed, misunderstandings averted, and Eyehasseen’s presence felt in any gathering of nations, whether real, imagined, or merely well-dressed.
Originally codified in the Order of the Scarlet Tabard (1965), the Corps has developed into a respected institution recognized for its grace under scrutiny, elegant attire, and unshakable etiquette even in the face of chaos, confusion, or rival micronational pageantry.
🧭 The Role of the Corps
Members of the Diplomatic Corps are selected, trained, and deployed to:
- Represent the Kingdom at international gatherings, summits, receptions, or debates
- Serve as envoys plenipotentiary, empowered to speak on behalf of the Crown or Council
- Deliver official communiqués, gifts, tokens, scrolls, or counter-scrolls
- Advise the Embassy and International Relations teams on matters of tone, timing, and table settings
- Maintain the visual dignity of the Realm through regulated uniforms, medallions, ceremonial pins, and scroll-handling technique
They are also trained in crisis de-escalation, graceful exits, and strategic misquotation, should the need arise.
🏛️ Ranks of the Diplomatic Corps
The Corps is organized by tier and mission-readiness:
• Grand Envoys
Senior emissaries appointed directly by the Sovereign for major ceremonial occasions or long-term assignments.
• Field Diplomats
Versatile and regionally assigned representatives trained for both public and private duties. May carry honorary titles and multiple sashes.
• Protocol Wardens
Experts in etiquette, precedence, and event planning. Often deployed before major visits to ensure correct chair placement and flag height.
• Herald-Attachés
Tasked with vocal announcements, scroll delivery, and dramatic door-opening at summits or castle gates.
👤 Command & Instruction
Marshal of the Diplomatic Corps
Her Excellency Theophila Vance of Myrrin
- Appointed by the Crown to oversee all diplomatic personnel, dispatches, and uniform standards
- Graduate of the Royal School of Applied Politeness
- Known for her signature “Pivot-and-Bow” maneuver, used during the 2019 Tulip Accord standoff
Chancellor of Training & Credentials
Sir Julian Narth, OCE
- Oversees examinations, initiations, and the awarding of the Diplomatic Baton of Merit
- Believes firmly that “No one negotiates from a slouch”
Master Tailor of Diplomatic Regalia
Mrs. Pinna Gall
- Responsible for issuing cloaks, badges, capes, and certified cravat pins
- Inventor of the Folding Travel Tabard
🧪 Diplomatic Training
All entrants into the Corps must complete the Sixfold Preparatory Series, which includes:
- Scroll Etiquette & Ink Consistency
- Salutation Theory
- Ceremonial Entry & Pause
- Neutral Tone: How to Say Much by Saying Nothing
- Artful Gift-Giving in 3 Objects or Fewer
- Emergency Flag Assembly
Graduates are knighted under the Order of the Sable Quill and granted temporary immunity from most minor faux pas.
🏆 Diplomatic Missions of Distinction
- Led the Peace Delegation to the Republic of Vexonia, resolving the Custard Dispute of 2022
- Successfully delivered the Golden Goblet of Fraternal Regard to the Ruler of Zenoportia
- Attended the Council of Unsanctioned Sovereignties, where Eyehasseen was awarded “Most Coherent Presentation”
📜 Join the Corps
Applications to the Diplomatic Corps are reviewed annually. To be considered, one must submit:
- A letter of intent (preferably wax-sealed)
- A formal sample of a greeting speech (100 words or fewer)
- A recommendation scroll from a ranking citizen or hedge scholar
- Proof of ability to nod meaningfully in silence
📬 Contact the Diplomatic Corps
Chancery of Diplomatic Coordination
Hall of Mirrors & Manners, Ministry of the Exterior
📧 diplomacy@eyehasseen.gov.realm
📞 +EHS-34-2025-CORDIAL
Visitors are received by appointment only, unless bearing a ribbon-wrapped scroll of unexpected friendship.