On the Appointment of Local Watch Officers
Each village, township, and borough shall appoint no fewer than two sworn officers to serve as members of the local watch. Said officers shall report monthly to the Ministry of the Populi regarding safety, disturbances, and acts of civil concern.
Let all communities abide by this, or be deemed deficient in diligence.
Establishment of the Royal Register of Professions
A formal register shall be kept of all recognized trades, guilds, and professional titles within the Kingdom. Practitioners must report their vocation to the Census & Registry Bureau for recordkeeping and licensing.
Noncompliance shall result in the suspension of guild protections and privileges.
On the Maintenance of Public Roads and Paths
All local councils and custodians are hereby instructed to ensure the proper maintenance, clearing, and repair of roads, footpaths, and waystones throughout the Realm. Obstructions must be removed within seven days of notice.
All subjects are to comply or face forfeiture of travel privileges through official crossings.
Proclamation Regarding the Royal Right to Nap
All citizens of Eyehasseen are hereby granted the sacred Right to Nap on overcast Thursdays between the hours of two and four. Naps taken outside this window remain unofficial but encouraged.
This right shall not be abridged, denied, or mocked.
Those who disturb nap-takers shall be clucked at by the Royal Geese.
On the Regulation of Public Marketplaces
No goods shall be sold in open markets without prior registration with the local magistrate. Stallholders must display prices clearly and conduct trade honestly. Fraudulent vendors shall be fined or stripped of market privileges.
All merchants are commanded to uphold these statutes under pain of royal censure.
Regarding the Issuance of Citizenship Documents
All persons recognized as Citizens of Eyehasseen shall be provided with a certificate of citizenship bearing the Royal Seal. Any individual found to be in possession of a forged or false certificate shall be subject to investigation and potential exile.
Subjects are urged to report suspected forgeries to their nearest civic authority.
Decree on the Regulation of Dramatic Cloak Swishing
Citizens may swish their cloaks dramatically only under the following conditions:
Cloak swishing during soup service is strictly forbidden.
All violators shall be issued a warning swish by the Royal Tailor.
Regarding the Care and Custody of Orphaned Youths
The Realm shall provide shelter, instruction, and guardianship to any child orphaned or abandoned within its borders. The Ministry of the Populi shall coordinate with local stewards to ensure proper assignment to registered houses or educational institutions.
All such children are to be considered under Royal Protection. Let no harm come to them.
Proclamation of the Festival of Slightly Misplaced Things
Henceforth, the third Moonday of Fogmonth shall be set aside as the Festival of Slightly Misplaced Things, wherein all citizens are encouraged to rejoice in those noble objects which have been misplaced—but never quite lost.
All gloves missing their pair, spoons found behind shelves, and library books returned too late to matter shall be celebrated in parades of mild confusion.
Those failing to celebrate shall be deemed grumpy and possibly hexed.
Decree on Bridge Naming Rights
No bridge within the Kingdom may bear a name lacking in charm, peculiarity, or poetic invention. Structures shall henceforth be named after local lore, peculiar vegetables, or famously moody cats.
Petitions for naming must be submitted in triplicate to the Ministry of the Populi and include a small poem.
Violators shall have their bridges renamed by royal whim.
