“Above It All, But Never Aloof”
Where the roads end and the breezes begin, the Eyehasseen Air Balloon Corps takes to the skies—not in haste, but in grace. Known affectionately as The Gentle Ascendants, this proud arm of the Kingdom’s aerial division was founded in Year 697 after a cartographer’s dream and a bishop’s balloon collided (philosophically, not literally).
Tasked with observation, celebration, and occasion-based reconnaissance, the Corps is a symbol of buoyancy, ceremony, and patient verticality.
🪂 Mission and Duties
The Air Balloon Corps upholds a variety of sky-bound services, including:
- Ceremonial Flyovers at state festivals, bunting inaugurations, and highland jousts
- Aerial Cartography, offering perspective maps and poetic cloud annotations
- Message Drops using biodegradable scroll bundles tied with municipal twine
- Strategic Gawking from above during parades and dignitary arrivals
They also conduct the Annual Elevation Trials, in which crews compete not to rise highest, but to do so with grace, precision, and appropriate epistolary flair.
🎖️ Fleet and Floating Assets
- HMS Altiora – The flagship balloon, adorned with golden filigree and a murmuring altimeter
- The Modest Goose – Slightly patchy but still stately; retired in high winds
- Parliament Lift – Reserved for civic spectacles and known for its trailing banner of laws
- The Ponderous Drift – Used for aerial poetry readings and brooding with binoculars
All crafts bear the Skyward Pine Emblem, symbolizing ambition, altitude, and elegant hat-wearing in gusty conditions.
🎓 Training and Ceremonial Conduct
Applicants to the Corps must demonstrate:
- A calm demeanor in mildly unpredictable weather
- Aptitude in Rope Handling, Top Hat Management, and Elevated Courtesy
- Willingness to share the skies with birds, beetles, and airborne marmots
The training academy, known as the Liftmaster’s College, teaches such disciplines as:
- The Geometry of Loft
- Balloon Whispering
- Field Repair Using Only Biscuit Tins and String (Advanced)
🪁 Civic Engagement
The Corps regularly hosts:
- Tethered Observation Days for schoolchildren
- Balloon Lighting Evenings, where envelopes glow against the Eyehasseen dusk
- Skywriting Demonstrations, mostly to announce bake sales or redirect festivals
The Eyehasseen Air Balloon Corps exists not to conquer the skies—but to make them a little more interesting.
Upward, always upward. But never hurried.