“Broadcast with Order, Print with Purpose.”
The Communications Agency of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen governs and oversees all public communication infrastructure, from broadcast frequencies to printed media, carrier signals, and the occasional high-altitude semaphore.
It ensures that the nation’s voice remains clear, coordinated, and civil—regardless of whether it’s travelling by ink, antenna, or the particularly stubborn homing raven of the Eastern Provinces.
With a mandate that stretches from licensing local village newsletters to regulating the entire national radio spectrum, the Agency serves as both guardian of freedom of expression and curator of the airwaves, lest the people be subjected to uncertified jingles or unauthorized midday dramas.
🏛️ Mandate & Responsibilities
📻 Licensing & Regulation
Allocates and manages broadcasting licenses across radio, television, and secured wavebands. Also, quietly confiscates rogue loudspeakers from conspiracy-minded milliners.
📰 Press Accreditation & Standards
Registers all official print publications, from daily gazettes to monthly village poetry compilations. Maintains decorum in typography and grammar with firm but friendly copy editors.
📡 Infrastructure Oversight
Coordinates with the Ministry of Industry to maintain communications towers, signal relays, and the Royal Satellite Array (“SatLeo-I,” which occasionally broadcasts sermons in Latin).
🗂️ Archive & Registry of Public Broadcasts
Keeps a full, indexed record of all licensed broadcasts and printed material since the Year of the Ink Blot (a dark time for paper supplies).
🧑💼 Key Officials
- Sir Bernard Vellum, Director of Frequencies & Quiet Assurance
Regarded as the only man who can detect signal interference using only his moustache. - Mrs. Thea Larksby, Registrar of Periodicals
Has read every newspaper submitted for accreditation since 1991. She says this with neither pride nor regret. - Mr. Lennan Quince, Deputy Overseer of Print Compliance
Known for red-circling typographic sins with palpable satisfaction.
📢 Noteworthy Initiatives
- “The Right Word, the Right Time” – National clarity campaign.
- “One Signal, Many Voices” – Program expanding community radio access.
- “Please, Not That Font Again” – A quiet triumph in the war on Comic Sans.
“When all speak at once, nothing is heard. When none speak, we must worry.”
— Sir Bernard Vellum, on broadcast harmony