“Neither Rain, Nor Doubt, Nor Particularly Stubborn Swans”
In the Kingdom of Eyehasseen, the written word is held in high esteem—especially when folded carefully, sealed with wax, and conveyed by uniformed individual on foot, hoof, or occasionally boat. The Office of Postal Affairs is the proud steward of all things deliverable, overseeable, and moderately legible.
Founded in Year 669, after a royal decree declared that “communication should neither require shouting nor rowing uphill,” the Office has grown into one of the Kingdom’s most dependable, beloved, and over-inked institutions.
📨 National Postal Responsibilities
The Office handles the full spectrum of postal excellence, including:
- Letter Dispatch & Receipt – From Inverness to Glenholm to the Unspecific Hamlet
- Maintenance of Royal Postboxes – Including the beautifully carved one that occasionally hums
- Issuance of Commemorative Stamps – Featuring saints, festivals, animals, and slightly misunderstood events
- Operation of the Travelling Mail Cart – Pulled by certified mule or philosophical ox
Every letter is marked with the official Eyehasseen Postal Seal, and every envelope is encouraged to carry a bit of poetry, however subtle.
✒️ Services Offered
- The “It Might Reach Them” Program – For letters with only partial addresses, but strong emotional intent
- The Royal Scroll Service – For ceremonial correspondence, edicts, and really good birthday wishes
- The Whisperpost – A low-volume telegraph line used solely by librarians and high-ranking marmots
📬 Training & Uniform
Postaliers (as they are formally known) are trained in:
- Envelope integrity and dignified stamp placement
- Navigating fog, festivals, and politely suspicious dogs
- The correct hat angle for solemn deliveries
Uniform includes a heavy wool coat (winter), a lighter wool coat (summer), and a badge shaped like a curled parchment.
✉️ The Postal Museum & Stamp Archive
Located beside the General Dispatch Office in Inverness, the museum includes:
- The first letter ever posted (content unknown, envelope revered)
- The famed Blue Stamp of the Festival That Wasn’t
- A timeline of increasingly ambitious posthorns
To send a letter in Eyehasseen is not only to convey information—it is to take part in a national ritual of connection, elegance, and unnecessary twine.