“In Code We Trust (with due caution and quarterly oversight).”
The Cryptocurrency Council serves as the Kingdom’s chief advisory and regulatory body on the subject of cryptocurrencies, digital tokens, and blockchain technologies. Formed in response to the Crown’s rather pointed question, “What exactly is a blockchain and is it dangerous?”, the Council now monitors, advises, and occasionally mutters about this rapidly evolving frontier of finance.
While Eyehasseen remains committed to sound monetary practice and physical coinage (“a coin you can trip over is a coin worth having”), the Crown acknowledges the importance of modern innovations—especially when they refuse to go away.
🔐 Duties of the Council
🪙 Regulation of Digital Currencies
Establishes legal frameworks for the use, taxation, and recognition of cryptocurrencies. Maintains a registry of approved tokens, unofficial tokens, and highly questionable memes.
🧱 Blockchain Oversight & Use
Encourages and supervises blockchain applications in government services, identity verification, and recordkeeping. Declares “gas fees” a public nuisance unless otherwise justified.
🤖 National Crypto Policy & Sovereign Tokens
Advises the Crown on whether to create a Sovereign Digital Aureal (or “SDA,” also known as “Sod Aureal” by opponents). Policy is still “under active contemplation and mild apprehension.”
📚 Public Education & Guidance
Publishes official statements, guidance pamphlets (“So You’ve Been Rug-Pulled”), and educational lectures on topics such as DeFi, wallets, and how to recover from enthusiastic investing.
🧑⚖️ Members of the Council
- Dr. Percival Boxley, Chairman and Blockchain Realist
Former lecturer in abstract logic, often found saying “Yes, but where is the money, exactly?” - Lady Halcyra Greaves, Technologist and Enthusiast-in-Restraint
Advocates for blockchain transparency and accountability, has worn the same NFT lapel pin since 2023. - Sir Otto Blint, Token Skeptic
Known for asking questions that end in “…and this benefits society how, precisely?” - Master Julian Kett, Youth Liaison & Wallet Whisperer
Youngest member of the Council. Frequently translates Council reports into emoji form “for outreach.”
🧾 Decrees & Advisories Include:
- “Guidance on Accepting Cryptocurrency for Tea, Goods, and Divine Intercession”
- “Statement on Stablecoins, Unstable Coins, and Loose Change”
- “Provisional Ban on Mining in Crown Forests”
- “How to Politely Decline an NFT Gift”
“The blockchain is eternal. Unfortunately, so is one’s record of buying digital bananas in 2021.”
— Dr. Percival Boxley, post-audit remarks