“Unbreakable to Them. Legible to Us.”
The Cryptanalysis Bureau is Eyehasseen’s most mathematically mysterious entity, specializing in code-breaking, cipher construction, and the art of making things look thoroughly unreadable—unless you happen to be on the right list.
From intercepted enemy communications to overly complex birthday cards from rival monarchs, the Bureau dissects, decodes, and interprets the world’s encrypted messages with quiet elegance and a fondness for obscure Greek.
Officially headquartered in a building shaped like a question mark, the Bureau operates beneath a strict code of silence, broken only by the occasional exclamation of “Ah, there you are!” when a pattern emerges.
🧮 Areas of Expertise
🔓 Decryption of Foreign Codes
Decrypts messages found on enemy transmissions, intercepted letters, and badly encrypted café receipts. Favours classical cyphers, quantum signals, and polite deduction.
🔏 Encryption Development
Designs the Kingdom’s secure communication protocols. These include:
- The Royal Cipher (daily rotating)
- The Diplomatic Fold (uses ribbons, oddly enough)
- And the Uncrackable Protocol, which has not been cracked since Tuesday
🗃️ Archival of Solved Systems
Maintains the Great Cipher Codex, a library of every known decryption method, alphabetic anomaly, and the true purpose of the “Z key.”
🧠 Mentorship of Cryptologic Talent
Trains promising minds in cryptographic methods, puzzle solving, and how not to blink when the pattern finally reveals itself.
🧑💼 Key Personnel
- Dr. Septimus Reed, Grandmaster of Patterns
Can see shapes in static and claims Morse code “has a rhythm if you just listen properly.” - Ms. Flora Ellingsworth, Head of Concealment
Her ciphers are so dense they once collapsed a pigeon. - “Mr. X”, Senior Cipher Shadow
Does not speak, only writes notes in perfect acrostic.
🕵️♂️ Recently Decoded Messages
- “Your spy is under the wine cellar. Regards.”
- “The goose flies left, then reconsiders.”
- “Yes to the invitation. Bring cake.”
“Where others see noise, we see narrative.”
— Dr. Septimus Reed, after cracking a weather report