“Across Borders, Behind Curtains, Always Polite.”
The International Spying Agency (ISA) serves as the Kingdom of Eyehasseen’s principal foreign intelligence service. Established to observe, interpret, and—when appropriate—nudge global events from a safe distance, the ISA is headquartered in a building that officially does not exist and whose staff officially work in “strategic cartography.”
Its agents are highly trained in surveillance, subtle diplomacy, tea etiquette, and at least one form of exotic footwork (for reasons best left classified).
🌐 Areas of Operation
🕵️♀️ Foreign Intelligence Gathering
Collects actionable intelligence from foreign governments, embassies, suspicious fishing boats, and overly curious antiquarians. Uses traditional tradecraft such as:
- Listening at doors
- Reading upside down
- Blending into cocktail parties without ever drinking the cocktail
🗺️ Human Intelligence (HUMINT)
Deploys undercover operatives abroad to build relationships, gain insights, and misplace official documents in ways that encourage disclosure.
🖥️ Signal & Code Intelligence
Intercepts messages, deciphers encrypted communications, and once cracked a diplomatic cipher that turned out to be a biscuit recipe. Still, the biscuit was excellent.
🎩 Diplomatic Liaison and Backchanneling
Maintains discreet relationships with foreign intelligence agencies—offering cooperation where appropriate and redirection where required. Cards are exchanged. Names are rarely used.
🧑✈️ Key Operatives
- Sir Lyndon Vale, Director of External Affairs (Unofficial)
Allegedly knighted three times. Holds a stare capable of disabling minor hostilities. - Madame Iris Cantwell, Operative-at-Large
Has operated in twenty nations. Fluent in fourteen languages. Pretends not to be. - “Grey Falcon”, Identity Unknown
Handles operations classified above “Very Confidential” and below “No One Must Ever Know.” May be several people. Or a goose.
📋 Known Operations (Publicly Denied)
- “The Salted Treaty” – Minor redirection of diplomatic wine labels.
- “Project Loophatch” – Extraction of intelligence via crossword clues.
- “Operation Courtyard Gossip” – Overheard revelations from a particularly talkative ambassadorial staff picnic.
“The best spy is the one you mistake for a landscape painter.”
— Director Vale, possibly during a mission