“From capital towers to whispering trees, the Kingdom beckons.”
Welcome to the scenic majesty of Eyehasseen! Our Top Destinations are handpicked for their breathtaking views, historical significance, and proximity to excellent sandwiches. Each location has been maintained with care and a reasonable degree of exaggeration.
🏙️ Inverness, the Capital
Behold the jewel of the kingdom—Inverness! Stroll the royal promenade, tour the Hall of Flags, or simply enjoy the view from Parliament Hill, where nothing controversial is ever debated (publicly).
🏛️ Royal Museum of History & Antiquities
Where every object has a story, and most of them are entirely believable. Marvel at artifacts like the Spoon of the First Breakfast and the Helm of the Mildly Miffed Viscount.
🧱 Blackstone Bastion
Home to the famed War College and our most picturesque fortifications. Guided tours available. Sword not included, but you may point at things with a stick.
🌲 Glenholm & the Whispering Forests
A nature-lover’s paradise. The trees murmur, though usually in the evenings. Please refrain from whispering back—it confuses the guides.
🌊 Shores of Lake Saint Aurelia
Perfect for boating, picnicking, or quietly contemplating your life choices while gazing across the water. Absolutely no mythical beasts here. None.
🔭 The Great Dome of the Celestial Observatory
Gaze upon the stars through our grand brass telescope, which may or may not still be aligned. A haven for astronomers and romantics alike.
🛶 Floating Market of Tallowmere
A lively bazaar where vendors sell everything from wax fruit to embroidered socks. Be prepared to haggle, but never over the price of pickled eels—it’s just not done.
Each destination is accessible via our scenic carriageways, certified walking paths, or in more ambitious cases, a fair bit of enthusiastic trudging.
Would you like a passport stamp with that?
(Ask your local Tourism Steward.)