“For the Honour of the Craft, the Pride of the Apron, and the Occasional Certificate of Excellence.”
The Guilds of Eyehasseen form the industrious backbone of the Kingdom—keepers of trades, traditions, tools, and tea breaks. Every cobblestone laid, every scroll unfurled, and every ladle raised in ceremonial stew is the work of a Guildswoman or Guildsman, properly sworn and occasionally mildly confused.
Below is the official registry of the active guilds of Eyehasseen, maintained with quill, ink, and uncommon diligence.
⚒️ Guild of Hammer & Tongs
Blacksmiths, metalworkers, ceremonial nailers
Creators of the Kingdom’s gates, hinges, ornamental weaponry, and once, an entire gazebo frame during a misunderstanding about the plans.
🧵 Guild of Thread and Thistle
Weavers, embroiderers, and purveyors of state bunting
Required to inspect all public banners and mayoral sashes. Motto: “May the tassel never unravel.”
🪶 League of Heralds, Calligraphers & Bannerwrights
Custodians of scrolls, signatures, and dramatically unfurled proclamations
Responsible for designing coats of arms, formal invitations, and annual flourishes. Known to faint at poor kerning.
🧂 Rootstew Consortium
Culinary masters of the national dish
Rooted in spice, history, and long-simmering argument. Currently deliberating the appropriate turnip-to-parsnip ratio.
🪓 Carvers & Whittlers Fellowship
Artisan woodworkers and commemorative statue sculptors
Commissioned for royal busts, town signage, and the beloved public bench with the mysterious third armrest.
📯 Society of Street Musicians, Minstrels & Conductus Singers
Performers of chant, song, and occasional spontaneous harmony
Holders of the Wandering Bard Permit (Class B). Concert attire varies seasonally and emotionally.
🔍 Guild of Scribes, Librarians & Quiet Observers
Recorders of things, arrangers of others, misplacers of very little
Their archives include minutes from every Royal Meeting since 922, including the two that were canceled.
🐴 Royal Stablehands’ & Beast-Stewards’ Association
Handlers of hoofed, horned, or otherwise noble creatures
Maintainers of all public beasts, carriages, and the annual Beasts of Burden Parade (rain or shine).
🧹 Order of Stewards, Sweepers & Polished Things
Cleaners of halls, polishers of brass, and finders of lost lapels
May bar entry to ceremonial spaces if floors “aren’t quite ready.”
🕰️ Guild of Clockkeepers & Gentle Tappers
Stewards of clocks, bells, and hourly dignity
Known for restoring Eyehasseen’s Grand Horologue after the “Chronometric Pause of 812.”
🧂 Guild of Picklers, Preservers & Fermentation Philosophers
Curators of brine and preservers of the slightly suspicious
Offer seasonal tastings of both foods and wisdoms. Best approached after breakfast.
✒️ Honourable Guild of Quills & Parliamentary Ink
Writers of laws, speeches, correspondence, and commemorative menus
Drafters of the Glorious Misunderstanding Act of 979 and The Official Spoon Clarification Statute of 1018.
To inquire about Guild membership, apprenticeships, or official Guild recognition, please consult the Ministry of Work, Trade & Turnip Affairs, or visit the small stone kiosk next to the Whispering Fountain (open most Tuesdays).