“In wisdom, whimsy, and semi-sovereignty, we rule.”
🏛️ Office of the Prime Minister
Rt. Hon. Theophilus Quentus Bramblewine, OGE
Grand Steward of the Realm, Custodian of Parliamentary Teas
- Former librarian turned reluctant monarch. Known for issuing decrees in perfect iambic pentameter.
🏰 Ministry of the Interior
Dame Eugenia Gladewhistle, Keeper of Keys and Hearths
Minister of Domestic Matters, Watcher of Hedge Boundaries
- Manages infrastructure, topiary integrity, and all internal maps (including those only visible in moonlight).
🌐 Ministry of the Exterior
Ambassador General Cassius Fletchmoor, V.E.C.
Envoy Extraordinary to All Realms Both Recognized and Imaginary
- Has never lost a diplomatic duel. Owns six velvet capes and one extremely persuasive monocle.
🧑🤝🧑 Ministry of the Populi
Baroness Philomena Vox-Peabright
Voice of the People, Recorder of Collective Dreams
- Can recite census results from memory. Invented the phrase “Micronational morale is a matter of metrics.”
🏛️ Royal Chancery
Archscribe Benedict Archimandrake, K.S.P.
Chancellor of the Seals, Calligrapher of Decrees, Vicar of the Velvet Ribbon
- All official documents are handwritten in illuminated script using ink distilled from dusk and thyme.
🎨 Ministry of Culture & History
Prof. Emerita Seraphina Lys Anthracite-Mirabel, Ph.D. (Folklore)
Curatrix of National Myth, Mistress of Memory, and Archivist of the Slightly Dubious
- Personally maintains the Museum of Imagined Ancestors. Often found arguing with historical reenactors.
⚔️ Ministry of War & Conflict
Marshal Lord Tiberius Flint, V.C., D.M.C.
Defender of the Realm, Wielder of the Rubber Saber, General of the Imaginary Army
- Leads weekly tabletop strategy meetings. Once reenacted the Siege of Ignorance using chess pawns and gingerbread.
💰 Ministry of Economics & Finance
Sir Reginald Quoinbank the Thriftworthy
Master of Coin, Warden of the National Drawer of Loose Change
- Inventor of the “florint,” Eyehasseen’s entirely symbolic currency. Keeps the royal abacus under lock and riddled key.
🕯️ Ministry of Truth
Sister Honoria Fidelis, O.S.L.
Guardian of Verity, Illuminator of the Record, and Keeper of the Sacred Index Cards
- Trained in cross-examination, theology, and advanced library shushing. Wears a sash that simply says “Objective.”
🕵️ Ministry of Clandestiny
Agent X. (No surname on record)
Invisible Minister, Whisperer of Shadows, Director of Secrets Known and Yet Unknown
- Attends meetings in fog. Leaves cryptic notes pinned under teacups. No one remembers hiring them—but all obey.