“Take Home a Memory of Eyehasseen”
You came. You saw. You possibly got mildly lost.
Now it’s time to take a little something back with you—something that says “I survived the roundabouts and all I got was this delightful commemorative bookmark.”
📓 Collectible Passport Stamp Book
Issued free of charge (with appropriate enthusiasm), the official Eyehasseen Passport lets you collect ink stamps from major landmarks, including:
- The War College of Blackstone Bastion
- The Royal Museum of History & Antiquities
- The Floating Market of Tallowmere
- The National Rootstew Registry (yes, it’s real)
Stamps change seasonally, so repeat visits are both encouraged and necessary.
🖼️ Posters & Prints
Bring home a vintage Eyehasseen travel poster—designed in glorious 2.5-tone grandeur. Each features locations that may exist and phrases that definitely do. Printed on responsibly nostalgic paper.
🛒 Artisan Crafts
Every hamlet has its own specialty:
- Inverness: Pewter tankards and dignified scarves
- Glenholm: Woodland-themed embroidery and pine-scented sachets
- Tallowmere: Hand-dipped candles and caramelized eel figurines (do not eat)
All authentic crafts are marked with the King’s Pinecone—a symbol of heritage, handmade virtue, and low-volume splinters.
🧾 Knighting Certificates (Tourist Class)
Bestowed in a 90-second ceremony by a steward in ceremonial hatwear. You’ll receive:
- A certificate of temporary noble standing
- A sash in Official Unofficial Colours
- A voucher for one respectful bow from a shopkeeper
Also available in “Dame of the Perpetually Curious” edition.
💌 The Commemorative Stamp Collection
Issued by the Post Office of National Esteem, our stamps are practical, collectible, and decorative (in the right lighting). Themes include:
- Historic Events – The Great Bunting Reversal, Year of the Five Tuesdays
- Royal Animals – The Marmalade Fox, The Pensive Ox
- Places of Note – The Celestial Observatory, The Forgotten Bridge, The Secret Tunnel Everyone Knows About
- Cultural Oddities – The Official Spork, The National Yawn
Perfect for use on letters, gift tags, or passive-aggressive notes to neighbours.
Eyehasseen believes memory is best preserved through parchment, ink, and a little pomp. You’ll find our souvenirs in the village square, official shops, or at roving carts that appear when most needed (or least expected).